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Author Topic: Boots  (Read 1239 times)

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Offline Credo

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Boots
« on: Sep 30, 2006, 21:16 »
Man goes into Boots in the Metro Centre and asks for some contraceptives
"We have some new ones in Red White and Blue which would you like"
"I will have one pack of each Please"
And off he goes. A few months later he is back at Boots
"Hi do you sell maternity bras"
" Yeah sure we do what bust"
"One of the blue ones"

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Offline Bookworm

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Re: Boots
« Reply #1 on: Sep 30, 2006, 23:38 »
You owe me the 10 seconds of my life, that I wasted reading that "joke". B?)

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Offline Credo

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Re: Boots
« Reply #2 on: Oct 01, 2006, 18:47 »
You owe me the 10 seconds of my life, that I wasted reading that "joke". B?)

Wasnt that bad was it When I wrote it after a few beers it sounded funny

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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Boots
« Reply #3 on: Oct 01, 2006, 21:39 »

Quote

Wasnt that bad was it When I wrote it after a few beers it sounded funny
Quote

OK try this one.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes.

Turning to look, he saw a 9 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God....!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said: "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."


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Lancelot

Offline Credo

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Re: Boots
« Reply #4 on: Oct 02, 2006, 11:10 »
An atheist was fishing on Loch Ness all of a suden he and his boat were tossed in the air by the Monster of Loch Ness. As he was falling back towards the monsters wide open mouth the atheist cried out " Oh mt God Help me please" At that moment the Time stood still. The Lord spoke from above" But you dont believe in me Why should I help you "

" Ah come on upto 30 seconds ago I didnt believe in the Loch Ness Monster either "

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Re: Boots
« Reply #5 on: Oct 02, 2006, 16:57 »
And the moral is not to eat psilocybe mushrooms when you're outdoors.  :D

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Offline Durham Forum

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Re: Boots
« Reply #6 on: Oct 02, 2006, 17:01 »
And the moral is not to eat psilocybe mushrooms when you're outdoors.? :D

Magic! :D

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