// A real Job Centre plus

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Offline Bookworm

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A real Job Centre plus
« on: Jun 16, 2005, 19:13 »
A man goes into the unemployment office in Bishop Auckland to look at job openings on the bulletin board. Since there aren't many jobs it doesn't take him long. Then, just as he's on his way out, he spots something. "Wanted," it says, "Single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors and razor. ?200 per day, guaranteed, plus a company car and all expenses paid."

Well, it sounds a bit too good to be true, but he makes a note and walks up to the counter. "I'd like to apply for this job," he says, "reference number E/784/B46." "Oh, that one," says the clerk. "It's a modelling agency right here in Bishop Auckland. They're looking for a 'pubic-hair stylist'."

"The agency supplies girls who model underwear and bathing suits. Before they go on the catwalk, they'd report to you and you would inspect them carefully and snip off any wisps of pubic hair showing. It pays well, but there are a few drawbacks. It involves quite a lot of travel. The Bahamas, Tahiti, Paris, London, Peterlee... that sort of thing... and you have to get used to expense account living in first-class hotels."

"I reckon I could learn to live with all that," says the fellow. "I'd really like to apply for the job." The clerk shrugs and says, "OK, here's an application form and a bus ticket to Birmingham." "Birmingham? What do I wanna go to Birmingham for?" "Well," says the clerk, "that's where the end of the application queue is, at the moment!"
"You know that feeling you get when you lean back in a chair, and you almost tip over but you catch yourself just in time? I feel like that all the time."   (Steven Wright)


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Offline looking4thequietlife

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Re: A real Job Centre plus
« Reply #1 on: Mar 20, 2016, 15:50 »
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL   :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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