// "Northerners are almost human" say Conservatives
Save on your hotel - www.hotelscombined.com
Advertise YOUR business

Author Topic: "Northerners are almost human" say Conservatives  (Read 295 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Legend

  • Dozzle
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,492
  • Location: Durham City
  • Reputation: 18
"Northerners are almost human" say Conservatives
« on: Oct 03, 2016, 08:17 »
TODAY’S Northerner is now almost on a par with humans, the Conservatives have announced.

In a pitch to swing voters north of Birmingham the party will set out plans to overhaul Lancashire, Yorkshire, Cumbria and Northumberland with the introduction of schools, toilet paper and cutlery.

According to an opinion poll, only 57% of Conservatives now believe that Northerners are an exclusively male race which reproduces via intercourse with stoats, ferrets and badgers.

A party spokesman said: “The modern Northerner has evolved to such an extent that it could be brought along to a dinner party, perhaps on a leash or in a very big jar.

“Indeed the progress of the Northerner is in many respects analogous to that of its beloved pie.

“Once it was little more than a pastry receptacle for pulped genitals adrift in an oozing black tar, shunned by even the semi-literate.

“Now it frequently contains fair to average meats and is served to dinner guests across Surrey, often with a salad garnish and a hint of irony.”
The North East Forum

Forums for North East England and County Durham. Chat with other Mackems, Mags and Smoggies. Sport and other stuff for lads 'n' lasses.

Tags:
 


+-Recent Members

ADouglasEnuct
oscarvj60
genevanz16
bethgf69
RobertDib
diannwo16

Top Posters

Durham Forum
Posts: 11471
alexander
Posts: 5354
SouthernExPat
Posts: 3946
Credo
Posts: 3447
bazza
Posts: 2643
Victoria Sponge
Posts: 2196
Powered by EzPortal
NorthEastForum.Co.Uk