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Author Topic: Oh no! Not another one.  (Read 1092 times)

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Offline Lancelot

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Oh no! Not another one.
« on: Sep 04, 2019, 00:31 »
 We’ve got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night...
 Yes,
 Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark...



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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #1 on: Sep 10, 2019, 21:57 »
But there are only 16 Fridays 'till Xmas.

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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #2 on: Sep 15, 2019, 21:46 »
You don't have to be Scottish to enjoy a dram, or three, of Whisky, you just have to appreciate the perfection.


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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #3 on: Sep 20, 2019, 09:59 »
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?           Finding half a worm.

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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #4 on: Nov 13, 2019, 20:40 »
The owner of a golf course in Surrey was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of London. I need some help.

If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought for a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings”.

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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #5 on: Nov 14, 2019, 18:51 »
My wife was going through her wardrobe, she said "look at this, it still fits me after 25 years" I said "It's a scarf"

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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #6 on: Nov 21, 2019, 22:02 »
Driving by Regents Park the sat nav kept saying 'Bear left', 'Bear left'.

I then realised I was passing London Zoo.


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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #7 on: Dec 05, 2019, 00:19 »
My kids keep laughing at me getting things confused as I get older.

I bet they won't be laughing at Christmas when there's no eggs
under the bonfire!

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Offline Lancelot

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Re: Oh no! Not another one.
« Reply #8 on: Dec 06, 2019, 22:07 »
Not one of my normal messages . Bit more serious . If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, I need to borrow some chairs.

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