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Author Topic: these made me laugh  (Read 551 times)

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Offline tilerman

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these made me laugh
« on: Sep 30, 2011, 13:25 »
and I'm a miserable old scroat! according to my wife anyway..
Courtesy Tim Vine
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... 

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.   As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin.    3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.  I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!! 

I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. 

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday so I went to our local pet shop and they were $100!  ******** to this I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. 

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy. 

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C,"he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia." 

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. 

I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked.  The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.  I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.   

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'



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